Fantastic Flamenco

This past weekend I had the pleasure of seeing Jose Porcel perform with his dance company. He is from Spain, not to say that non-Spanish dancers won't cut it but you can tell when someone has lived and breathed flamenco since childhood. The rhythms (dah, dah, dah,daaaah...), complicated steps and arm work are effortless.

The dancers were excellent and at that level where everyone knows the steps and what they choose to do with those steps sets them apart stylistically.

The show flowed from one number to another and kept everyone's attention. The dancers were beautiful and moved beautifully. I feel old when I observed that one of the male dancers was 18 and looked so young and yet an accomplished dancer in his own right.

Male flamenco dancers are heavenly to watch. In my next life I am going to marry a flamenco dancer (good idea for a bumper sticker). I cannot pin point why of all male dancers out there that I get instantly smitten by these rhythmic gypsy gods. I have taken workshops with some of them (some nice, some not so nice, some old) and regardless of my personal take on them, it is all erased once I see them perform. Their sheer strength, sensuality AND vulnerability is too intoxicating.

With that in mind, I became entranced by Jose Porcel's performance. He wore a dark green suit with shiny, green flamenco boots. On anyone else, you are thinking is he trying to be the Joker from Batman? But he pulled it off making men in audience think that wearing such a suit would make them irresistably attractive. Jose was expressive and strong and seeing the sweat fly from his dark, long hair was, there is really no other way to say it, cool. The other male dancers were also a sight to behold.

The women dancers were graceful, so strong and held their own without the men. I take flamenco classes and have so for a few years. I was in awe by how easy they made everything look. They used shawls in one number and it was dazzling. In my wildest dream I wish I could dance like that.

I will continue to go to class and imagine being able to possess such poise and strength when I perform. In the mean time, I will continue perfecting my golpe and brazero and hope one day my weak little fingers will play the castanets the way they deserved to be heard. I really am in need of attending another workshop so I can hear the Spaniards broken English and hear uno, dos , tres and vale--the flavor of Spain.

This was the third flamenco show I have seen. I saw shows in New York City and San Diego and this show was by far the best, although the others were also great to observe and learn from. I head to Philadelphia and there will be a show to see, so I will go and once again become dazzled by the rhythms and sounds of flamenco.

Morning

Last night Dork Boy and I had a serious discussion about his serious lying. The trust factor has been compromised and just when I think everything is better, I find out something else he is currently hiding from me.

I am not talking hiding the fact that he forgot to pay a bill or tell me about a phone message. I was paying my bills and found his Sprint Cell phone bill, which I thought was my bill. Instead I found lots of phone calls made during business hours to lots of different women through out the U.S. Since this isn't my first discovery of his bad behavior, I no longer react by being sick to my stomach but rather getting furious that he was hiding this from me.

I always confront him. He always apologizes. The problem is that there is an "ALWAYS" involved. This is not normal. I am tired of his lies and bad behavior. Have I become so immune or accustomed to this that I think this is a normal part of any relationship? If any of my friends told me that their Dork Boy was doing this (and many other things that he has done) I would say they were insane to stay. I am not perfect, but I am honest. I expect honesty always.

Any way, last night our conversation ended with him saying that even if he went to a counselor (something he always says he'll do), nothing will change. I woke up being mad at him. I know going once to a counselor is not a magic cure BUT at least it is a step in the right direction. A step to living a normal life. Dork Boy has more issues to deal with than God (that is what he tells me) and his problem is he never wants to deal with anything. We all have issues, we all have to work through them or else you succumb to them and lead a miserable life. We have a choice. I choose happiness.

I confronted Dork Boy this morning since I hate going to work angry, which in turns makes me unproductive and cranky. It has taken me close to 34 years to figure out if I talk about my problems, then I feel better. We had a good talk and he said he understood what I was saying.

My patience for the boy is wearing very thin. I really am tired of dealing with all of the always.

New

I have created a blog for no apparent reason other than to post comments on other blog sites. Hey, maybe this will inspire me to write something other than business memos and emails.

Oh yes, I have seen Duran Duran twice this year. They are AWESOME and I will forever have a crush on all of them.